Talking to Children and Teens About Suicide in an Age-Appropriate Way

As parents, suicide is one of the hardest subjects to think about—let alone discuss with our children. Yet, with mental health concerns rising among children and adolescents, it’s important to create safe spaces for open, honest conversations. Talking about suicide does **not** plant the idea in a child’s mind. Instead, these conversations can actually help prevent suicide!by reducing shame, building trust, and letting children know they can turn to you when they are struggling.

Children understand and process information differently at each stage of development. Below are some age-appropriate ways to approach the topic, along with guidance on how media shapes children’s understanding of death and what to do if your child says things like “I want to die.”

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Helping Children Understand the Permanence of Life and Death

One of the biggest challenges for children, especially younger ones, is grasping that death is permanent. In everyday life, they may see death reversed in video games, TV shows, movies, or even cartoons. Characters come back after being “killed,” restart a level, or are magically revived. On social media, children may encounter casual or even humorous talk about “dying” that doesn’t reflect the seriousness of the real experience.

Because of this, parents need to clearly explain that real life is not like a game or movie:

* In real life, when someone dies, their body stops working and they don’t come back.

* Death is not like sleeping or resting—it is permanent.

* When people die, we can still love and remember them, but they do not return.

Reinforcing this helps children understand the seriousness of suicide and other forms of death, and it reduces confusion that might otherwise lead to unsafe behaviors.

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Ages 0–6: Early Childhood

At this age, children think concretely and may confuse fantasy with reality.

What to say: “In real life, when someone dies, they don’t come back like in a game or movie. Their body stops working forever. Sometimes people’s brains can get very sick, and they make choices that hurt their body so much that it makes them die. That’s called suicide.”

How to support: Use short, clear sentences. If they say, “I want to die,” recognize it might mean “I feel really upset” rather than a wish for death. Stay calm, comfort them, and help them find words for their feelings.

Why it matters: Honest but simple language builds trust and clears up confusion between pretend death in media and real, permanent death.

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Ages 6–11: Middle Childhood

Children in this age range begin to understand permanence more fully, but may still be influenced by media that portrays “death” as temporary.

What to say: “In real life, death means a body stops working forever. It doesn’t start again like in a video game or show. Suicide happens when a brain is hurting so much that a person doesn’t see another way to feel better. If you ever feel really sad, mad, or hopeless, please tell me—we can always find help together.”

When they say “I want to die”: Often this means they feel overwhelmed and lack the words to explain it. Stay calm, take it seriously, and say: “That sounds really hard. Can you tell me what you’re feeling?” Then reassure them: “I’m so glad you told me. You are safe, and I’m here with you.”

Why it matters: This age group learns that words carry weight. Gentle correction and emotional coaching help them understand the seriousness of suicide without making them afraid to share.

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Ages 11–14: Early Adolescence

Tweens and young teens are aware of social issues, exposed to more media, and may encounter suicidal language from peers or online communities.

What to say: “You may see characters in shows or games who ‘come back to life,’ but in real life, death is forever. Suicide means someone’s pain felt so heavy they couldn’t see another way. If you ever feel like that, or if a friend does, the most important thing is to tell an adult right away. You are never alone in that.”

When they say “I want to die”: Do not dismiss it, even if you think they don’t “mean it.” Ask calmly: “Are you saying that because you’re upset right now, or are you really thinking about hurting yourself?” This gives them space to clarify, while showing you are not afraid to hear the truth.

Why it matters: Acknowledging their words without judgment builds trust and keeps communication open, which is a strong protective factor against suicide.

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Ages 14–18+: Older Adolescents

Older teens can think abstractly and understand permanence, but may still be heavily influenced by peers, online culture, or romanticized portrayals of suicide in media.

What to say: “Suicide isn’t like what you sometimes see in shows or social media—it’s final. There’s no coming back, no chance to fix things afterward. If you ever feel that much pain, I want you to know you are never a burden. Talking about it is the safest way to feel better.”

When they say “I want to die”: Always take it seriously. Ask directly: “Are you thinking about suicide right now?” If they say yes—or if you’re unsure—stay with them and connect them immediately to professional support (therapist, crisis line, emergency care if needed).

Why it matters: Teens who feel trusted and supported are more likely to confide in parents before acting on harmful thoughts.

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How These Conversations Help Prevent Suicide

* They clear up confusion between pretend death in media and the real permanence of death.

* They give children and teens safe, accurate words to describe their feelings.

* They normalize asking for help when things feel overwhelming.

* They show children that their feelings matter, no matter how big or small.

Silence can make children feel alone or ashamed. Talking about suicide—openly, calmly, and in developmentally appropriate ways—can actually reduce risk and save lives.

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What to Do If Your Child Says “I Want to Die” or Talks About Killing

1. Stay calm. Reacting with fear or anger may shut down communication.

2. Take it seriously. Even if you think they don’t understand, it’s important to listen.

3. Explore the meaning. Ask gentle, open-ended questions like: “Can you tell me what you’re feeling when you say that?”

4. Offer safety and comfort. Reassure them: “I’m so glad you told me. I’m here for you, and we’ll get through this together.”

5. Seek help if needed. If your child seems at risk of harming themselves, don’t wait—reach out to a mental health professional, call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline), or go to the nearest emergency department.